Athithi Tum Kab Jaoge

Posted: November 6, 2010 in Arbit, Rants & Cribs, Talking Heads

Dear Barack Obama (or POTUS, as I am sure your prefer to be addressed),

While one acknowledges the fact that you won a Nobel Peace Prize for being the person who replaced George Bush (one of best examples for being at the right place at the right time), it is indeed admirable that you are striving to win a similar global award for Environmental consciousness, through your visit to India.

Of course, one does admit, Diwali is indeed not a festival to be celebrated what with all the noise and pollution that it might offend your delicate American system (used to the head banging rock concerts and the bang of firearms). One certainly has to laud your drive in ensuring that atleast a part of the country is environmentally conscious. I mean, why should anyone in S Mumbai burst those offending creatures. They should all save up until they can buy the real thing.

Blockading S Mumbai is probably the best thing that you could have done. Imagine all the vehicular pollution that you would stop. Of course, the face that a lot of people would like to come down to S Mumbai has no bearing on your decision, while I am sure, that after Diwali, someone might want to travel to S Mumbai would have not cross your mind at all. I, of course, do admire your sense of the larger picture here. By preventing most people from coming down, you are proposing an innovative solution to prevent traffic jams. (Of course, I am sure you would extend the same courtesy to any head of state who visits you just after Christmas)

Of course, one is mindful of the agenda that you have in mind. Global issues dominate your very thought process and your very statements draw attention to that. American jobs, American companies, American economy, liability possibilities on American companies are of course key parts of your “global” agenda. Of course, terrorism and its after effects on India is a footnote in your agenda considering that you have signed off a $2.5B aid policy to “ensure” Pakistan’s good behavior. And how not a single dime of it “can” be used to support cross border terrorist activities. One day, after you retire, one does hope that they get a chance to understand the excellent monitoring systems that you have in place. One would like to use that in the IT companies to monitor employee activities that reduce efficiency like Facebook, Farmville, Boss-cribbing, Work-cribbing; an efficiency that is still higher than what one sees in American companies.

Of course, like any true capitalist, you are all for globalization until it affects you, after which you redefine globalization. One does admire the whole goal-shifting policy and wishes if it can adapted to my year-end process too. But digressions apart, it is a very positive move. Shouting against offshoring/outsourcing while asking for India to open its markets in the same breath. Total respect, I say. That a bit like the subsidies on farming that the western countries provide but I am sure, you will say, that I am missing the point totally and that is really not on agenda for your talks this time. Afterall, protectionism of any kind is wrong isn’t it

Of course, one has to be made aware of the fact that American suppliers and vendors are never wrong and using superior manufacturing practices, can never manufacture defective products. Which is why you are all against the liability provision with regards to nuclear supplies. Of course, Bhopal happened way when you were not president and you really cant be held responsible for anything that happened before your term like the Financial crisis.

Lastly, one wishes to express total support on your decision not to visit Golden temple, at Amritsar as wearing the headgear would make you look like a Muslim and that would very strongly upset your well educated American and send a wrong message.

A Nobel Peace prize aspirer

  1. Kavity says:

    Loved the sarcasm! Good one!

  2. vinayvasan says:

    Thanku Thanku 🙂

  3. Abhay says:

    good one da… i wish he could read this.

  4. Bihag says:

    Good one Vinay!!

    You should stick to this new-found hard hitting streak of reality bites!! Very well written and point blank!!

  5. vinayvasan says:

    @Abby, of course, but too much draconian security measures as tho v hv nothing better to do.. he forgot tht we had a cricket match to watch

    @Buttah, thank u thank u :).. but finding suitable targets/issues is tuf

  6. Kavity says:

    Write about ‘Butt’ah?

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